the study of relationship architecture
When a person is dying, one of their most common regrets is not spending more time with the people they love. Relationships are what make our lives full, the nets that connect us and carry us.
When I left my corporate job in 2023, I was lonely. I saw meaningful connections around me, but my own life felt full of rushed catch-up dinners and shallow work friendships. I didn't have much community outside of work, and what I had at work was mostly formed around shared suffering. I was too busy and scattered to invest intentionally in my relationships and it left me feeling a lack of depth and vibrance in the connections.
So when I left my job, I committed to improving my relationships, from spending more time with my close friends to trying to find more creative, fulfilling community. Over the past two years, I've spent a lot of time reading, thinking, and acting on this intention.
The more I've learned about relationships, the more I've found that I don't know yet. This fall I'm setting aside time to research and write about relationships with a focus on relationship anarchy and friendship, a project I'm calling the study of relationship architecture.
My goal is to write about what I learn and to continue nurturing my own relationships in the best ways I know. These are some books I'm planning to read over the next couple of months, to give you an idea:
An ask: I'd love to find other people to discuss these topics with. If you know anyone interested in friendship, relationship anarchy, or anything similar, please send them my way. I'm also interested in any related book and article recommendations.
